


i know you well enough

by scftsumu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Brotherly Love, Brotherly feels, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Family Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Loneliness, M/M, No Incest, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Love, atsumu is lonely and misses his brother a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:47:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23344210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scftsumu/pseuds/scftsumu
Summary: In which Atsumu has to learn to deal with the fact that he is no longer the most important person in his brother's life.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Comments: 18
Kudos: 424
Collections: kagsivity's fic archive





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really sorry if the characters are ooc!

It all started when Osamu paired up with Suna instead of Atsumu during warm-ups one day.

It was not as if Atsumu was jealous. No, he was most definitely not jealous of his brother's boyfriend, whom his brother had most definitely not been spending all his time with. Besides, he was rather content with not having his brother around him all the time, it was peaceful and he could finally have some much needed alone time... or so he tried to tell himself.

He did not blame Suna, of course, how could he when the latter did nothing wrong? He was a nice guy, cool, loyal, kind-hearted, the type of guy that his brother deserved.

Okay, maybe not. But to be fair, in Atsumu's eyes, his brother deserved the world and nobody would ever be enough, not that he would ever admit it to his twin.

So what if his twin decided to pair up with his boyfriend instead of his brother? No big deal. Atsumu tried telling himself that he was just doing it for a new experience, to work better with others, that it was for the sake of the team.

Until it continued for the next two weeks.

Atsumu tried not to let this bother him. He tried to tell himself that his twin just wanted some space, that he was just excited over his new relationship, that he was just an idiot in love. And yet, he knew the truth, that 'Samu didn't need him anymore.

The changes were subtle, but not unnoticeable. Osamu stopped waiting for him after practice and would just walk home with Suna. They did that all the time, especially when they were mad at each other. 

He also stopped going over to Atsumu's class during lunch, something he had done ever since the school had decided to put the twins in separate classes (honestly, did they really think it would prevent them from fighting?). Instead, he chose to stay in his own homeroom, which he shared with Suna. On certain occasions, they would even head to the roof for some, as Atsumu called it, lovey-dovey time.

Ever since he began dating Suna, Osamu had been spending less and less time with his twin, and eventually, it came to the point where they barely even spoke to each other. Osamu only came home for dinner three times a week now, spending the rest of the time at Suna's house. His parents were perfectly fine with it, and so was Atsumu. (As long as 'Samu's happy, right?)

It's alright, he tried to tell himself. He tried to tell himself that every day, every time he admitted that he missed having his brother around. And indeed, it was alright...

Until it wasn't.

Atsumu started to realise just how lonely he was. How nobody wanted to pair-up with him during warm-ups. How he had nobody to walk home with after practice, and nobody to go to the convenience store with to search for snacks. How everyone despised him.

Yes, it took his brother getting into a relationship to get the fact that practically everybody hated his personality through his thick skull. He thought about every single insult his teammates had thrown at him. Were they really joking, or did they genuinely mean it? 

Yet, when he stood on the volleyball court, that nine-by-eighteen area of space, each and every one of those thoughts were shoved to the back of his mind. Volleyball always came first, no matter what. So what if they hated him? He was still their setter, and they were still his teammates.

But everyone had a breaking point. And Atsumu just happened to reach his after a typical practice session on a typical Friday evening. And by typical, he meant watching his brother and his brother's boyfriend aggressively exchanging saliva, and being ignored by the former. That was fine, Suna and Osamu kissing in the club room after practice had become such a common sight that nobody really minded anymore. Even Kita-san had given up trying to stop them from "being those annoying couples that want to show PDA for no reason."

It was the next few words that exited Suna's mouth that pushed Atsumu over the edge. 

"I love you, 'Samu."

'Samu. He had called him 'Samu. Nobody else was allowed to do that. Over the years, Osamu had never let anyone call him that, anyone but Atsumu himself. That itself made Atsumu feel special, like he had an important place in his brother's heart, no matter how much the latter would deny it. It made Atsumu feel all weird and warm and happy about the one-of-a-kind bond they shared and-

It made him feel loved.

To others, it might have seemed like just a silly childhood nickname. One that they kept only to tease each other. But to Atsumu, it was his world, well, apart from volleyball of course. 

It represented the seventeen years they had spent making life absolute hell for each other. It represented each moment spent together, whether it was fighting, eating, playing, anything, really. And most of all, it represented the irreplaceable sibling bond and rivalry between them. 

Well, may not so irreplaceable anymore.

Atsumu knew what this meant, as much as he tried to deny it. 'Samu didn't need him anymore.

With seemingly dull eyes hiding an abundance of insecurities, a thin smile of resignation, and a pained expression, begging to be loved once more, he stood up and simply trudged out of the club room, slamming the door behind him.

A muffled "What's his problem?" could be heard coming from the club room as he stalked further and further away from the person who had once loved him.

Deep down, he was hoping for his brother to come after him. To shout his name, to slap him on the back, to show the slightest bit that he still cared about him. But he knew he had to lower his expectations. Samu didn't love him anymore. 

Maybe, he never did.


	2. Chapter 2

It only got worse from there. If the past few weeks had been bad, Atsumu was currently going through absolute hell.

Osamu barely even looked at him anymore. Sure, they did talk, but only when Osamu needed something or when Atsumu tried to initiate a conversation, which never worked because his brother would just ignore him. They even shared a room, but more often than not, Osamu was either out with Suna or on the phone with him.

Atsumu did his best to suppress his emotions, he really did. He never showed any sign of loneliness or resentment, especially in front of their parents. Oh god, their parents. 

They had never been homophobic of any sorts and absolutely adored Suna. Atsumu remembered just how elated they were when they found out that at least one of their sons had found someone who loved them. But above all, they cherished the relationship between their sons. If they ever found out about how Atsumu was feeling, who knew what they would do.

So Atsumu kept to himself. He put up a front, pretending to be okay with everything. Pretending to be okay with his brother ignoring him for two months. Pretending to be okay with the feeling of isolation and loneliness, despite the nagging fear of abandonment at the back of his mind. He desperately wanted to talk to someone, to just tell somebody how he truly felt. But who could he tell? 

As far as he remembered, Osamu had always been the only one who bothered listening to his emotional rants. However, telling his brother about this could only result in two things: One, his relationship with Osamu would become even worse than it currently was. Two, he would ruin his brother's relationship with Suna, which was honestly rather unlikely, considering that fact that Osamu loved his boyfriend more than anyone else.

Maybe that fact stung a little. But he swore to never say anything. He would never let his selfish thoughts take away Osamu's happiness. Because as lonely as he felt, he loved his brother more than anything, and he deserved all the happiness that the world could offer.

\--

How the hell had Atsumu managed to get himself in such a stupid situation?

He was trapped. In the volleyball storeroom, where they kept all the equipment. With his twin.

In all his sixteen years of existence, he never expected the most awkward moments of his life to be being stuck with his twin. Had this happened just six months earlier, the deafening silence would not have been present. They would have been talking, about anything and everything. Or maybe fighting and arguing over whose fault it was for getting them locked in the storeroom. 

"I've called 'Tarou, he and Kita-san will be here in half an hour," Osamu stated, eyes glued to his phone. It was almost as if he refused to meet Atsumu's eyes.

"Alright, thanks for calling him. Thank god you have your phone, otherwise, we'd be dead meat by now," Atsumu joked, trying to lighten the mood, which was clearly not working.

Osamu just nodded curtly, before going back to texting Suna. Atsumu sank to the ground right next to his brother, leaning against the wall. The silence that ensued was unbearable.

He had no idea how much time had passed, but at some point, Osamu's phone ran out of battery. Clicking his tongue in frustration, he stuffed his phone back into his pocket. He heaved a heavy sigh, turning his head to glare at his brother.

Atsumu raised his hands defensively, "I did nothing, I swear."

The older twin only rolled his eyes and grumbled, "Never said you did."

They remained like that, for about a minute. Backs against the wall, knees pulled close to their chest. Until Atsumu could not stand the silence anymore.

"So... Uh... How are things between you and Suna?"

At the mention of Suna, his brother's face lit up slightly, a soft smile gracing his lips. "Fine. He's already planning all these things to do for my birthday."

Right, their birthday was coming up in a week. Atsumu noticed how he said 'my birthday' instead of 'our birthday', and that stung, more than anything.

"That's nice."

"Yeah, it is."

The twins sat in silence once more, before one of them said something. And to Atsumu's surprise, Osamu was the one who initiated the conversation.

"Oi, Atsumu."

Atsumu. He had called him Atsumu. He had called him by his full name. Shit. 'Samu never did that, even when he was furious and on the verge of stabbing him with scissors. It was an unspoken rule between them, to always address each other by their nicknames.

Atsumu hadn't even realised that his brother was not just drifting from him, he had already grown into his own person. He had found other people who would love and cherish him with all their hearts. He had learnt to fly, while Atsumu was left struggling on the ground, alone.

In just a few years time, 'Samu would be out partying with his friends, while Atsumu would be at home, drowning in his own abyss of loneliness.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he did not even realise that his cheeks were wet and his throat was tightening. His eyes burned as he swallowed the lump in his throat. 

"Hey- Oi what the hell? Are you crying?"

"N-No. Shut the hell up." Atsumu bit his lip as he tried to stifle an oncoming sob. 

"The hell's wrong with you?" Osamu yelled, a little more harshly than intended.

To his dismay, his twin just shook his head and put a hand over his eyes, trying to stop the tears. 

It was then that Osamu realised something was not right. Miya Atsumu never cried. Not when he fell and broke his arm, not when they lost against Itachiyama, not when their grandmother passed away. He had always been so strong, comforting and supporting Osamu throughout everything, despite being the younger one.

Carefully, Osamu reached out and lightly grabbed his brother's hand, directing it away from his eyes. He shifted towards him, closing the gap between them.

"Hey, talk to me. What's wrong?" He whispered comfortingly. 

His twin, still trying to suppress the tears glistening in his eyes, only mumbled, "I'm sorry. Shit. I'm so sorry..."

"Shh... Don't apologise, you did nothing wrong."

"You could've warned me you know? You could've told me if I was doing something wrong, something to push you away from me. Was I being too annoying? Too clingy? I know you have Suna now but, would it hurt to just look at me once in a while." He spoke through sobs, as tears continued flowing freely down his cheeks.

“That’s what this is about?” Osamu asked incredulously, letting out a small laugh.

“Is this a freaking joke to you?” Atsumu turned to shoot him a threatening glare. 

Osamu only shook his head, extending one arm to wrap around his twin’s shoulder, pulling him closer. “You idiot.”

Between them, no words were needed. Osamu knew he screwed up, but Atsumu knew he would make up for it. That’s how their relationship worked because they both knew that no matter what happened, they would always find their way back to each other. 

—

Bonus:

When Kita and Suna unlocked the volleyball storeroom, they found the twins asleep, wrapped in each other’s embrace, the younger leaning against the older one. Suna took a picture for blackmail purposes, but neither of them had the heart to wake them up.

**Author's Note:**

> Should I make a part two?  
> All Kudos and Comments are welcome! ╮ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ╭


End file.
